OMG! I can't believe you posted that picture of me!

Today, I untagged a photo of myself on Facebook.

What does that mean?

Let me give a brief explanation of "tagging" photos on Facebook. Say a friend posts pictures from a party and I'm in one of the photos. (This is the actual scenario, by the way.) This friend can choose to associate my name with the photo by "tagging" me. The friend can draw a square that will appear around the image of me when someone hovers the mouse cursor over my name. Also, when people view my profile, they have an option that says, "see more photos of Theresa." They can click this and photos are that "tagged" with my name will appear.

I untagged a photo. I removed the association of myself to that picture. I didn't want anyone to see this photo and know it was me. This is why I cannot give up on losing weight. I am so ashamed of how I look in photos, I would rather not be associated with the photo. I am (in a not exactly the way people use the term sort of way) attempting to disassociate from my own body. I'm guessing this is probably oh, I don't know... not good for me?

If it had been a physical photo my friend stuck on a bulletin board rather than a electronic photo album, I would have wanted to rip up the picture and the burn the negatives. Yes, lots of people do the oh-god-I-look-horrible-in-that-photo thing, but I really, really don't want to feel like that about my body no matter how bad the photo. (I want to just recognize it as that's a badly taken photo, not that's a bad photo of myself and I look so ugly). I know my size is not horrific, but I don't feel healthy and it's something kind of awful that I will untag a photo (and delete it if I could) instead of just commenting "OMG! LOL. That's such a bad picture." and moving on. (Like the chatspeak there? I knew you would.)

Tomorrow, I'm going to the doctor and asking him about weight loss and whether running the Crim in August is not a crazy, crazy goal for me. I think it's physically possible ... if I lose weight, but I also need to talk him about nutrition things and what the type of precautions I need to take if I can do the running by August - if I should walk the Crim instead of running it? Do I need to do anything different than my non-asthmatic runners?

He can't give me a magic pill, but I'm hoping I can at least talk to him about a plan of action for myself and find out if I'm on the right track. Maybe he can give me some tips or something.